Frequently in life, I’ve found myself agonizing over decisions. Small decisions, like which cup to eat in, to big decisions regarding life moving forward.
And in all thinking, overthinking, and overthinking++, I have found myself forgetting why I make those decisions in the first place. It just becomes a routine after a point, and we grow dull to tedious routines.
Additionally, as an economic thinker, I hate choices. Choices signify ‘I can’t have it all’ and the existence of an opportunity cost. Every time I make a decision, I know that I am leaving behind the second best option, and this makes me double guess and overanalyze the simplest of decisions. When some people start a new game, they know exactly who they want to be - a tank, a swordsman, a mage or a ranger. Then there are some who will have to cycle through a ranger, a berserker and a necromancer before figuring out the right class for them. I have always been the second type - never making a decision without having information about all the options available. This frequently leads to paralysis, where I end up making an impulsive decision at the deadline not having finished my unnecessarily complex analysis in time.
Recently however, I’ve faced some of the most difficult decisions of my life. And when faced with difficult decisions, you must take time to think them through. It is during this thinking-time that I’ve had a shift in my scarcity mindset to a gratification mindset. In thinking between applying for ED2 to UChicago or not, with the uncertainty of getting into any Ivies later, I had a new realization - This is such a wonderful problem to have! I’m such a darn lucky guy to even think of letting go of a binding decision because I can afford to be confident of getting into regular decisions. If I’m going to have problems in life, may I always have such wonderfully fortunate problems!
I ended up choosing UChicago anyways, because I soon realized that I don’t really like the Ivies very much despite their name value. Something about them intimidates me, like they’re an 80 year old white man with a silky combed beard, a left monocle and a walking cane, judging me as they squint through their overgrown eyebrows. On the other hand, UChicago felt a lot more accepting of my flaws and quirky, like a little puppy poking its nose all around the garden, not afraid to make a mistake and get back up. And you wanna know what’s crazy? I wrote about this in my essay. I called a university a puppy and they gave me an acceptance letter. This was one of the essays I kept staring at thinking - am I really going to send this?? And this too was a wonderful problem to have. I’d much rather worry about sending my essay or not, instead of worrying about not having an essay prepared at all.
I have tried to transfer this new mindset to other areas of my life. Even in areas like losing friends where one might think that there can’t possibly be anything good, I had a choice between who to hold on to and who to let go. Not many people have this choice, they just get abandoned and need to stick around with whoever is left behind with them. I miss the friends I’ve lost touch with over time, but I’m damn fortunate that I am still close with those who I held on to. In some alternate timeline, I might even have been betrayed and would be plotting revenge against those who I still talk to daily.
Now gratitude is one thing, but you still need to make the decision. This is where I would like to introduce you to the three E’s.
Emotions, Ethics and Existence.
I only recently came across these three, but they encapsulate my own decision making process wonderfully. Obviously I will be biased, so I start off by considering how I feel about the decision. If I really do need to make a decision and this was a video game choice, how would I feel in each of the two scenarios.
Then I can’t just think about myself in every context. Even if I wanted to be selfish, I need to consider the others around me for the sake of my own conscience. While it will make me tremendously happy to take my brother’s ice-cream (which I did today btw) it doesn’t make him nearly as happy. Then there’s his tantrum and the nagging from my mom. It always helps to consider other people for your own sake in the long term.
Lastly is our philosophical overthinking criteria - existence. What is meaningful for me? Are there any morals, principles, myths or lies which I believe in which are really important to me? What do I want to be remembered for? All the rest of it, you get the idea. Sure it’s ok to take your brother’s ice cream from time to time, but when making important decisions in relationships or in your path forward in life, you better consider this stuff to minimize future regret.
The importance of the three criteria vary from person to person, but don’t overthink it. If you’re really lost in making a decision, then use them as a starting point.
And of course, sometimes these decisions won’t work out in your favor. Even then, after getting rejected by your crush, I want you to remember that you had the choice of asking them out. And you’re really fortunate for that too, because you’re alive, you have a heart and you could experience attraction, even if it wasn’t meant to be. Some people are stuck simply day dreaming about how their lives could be, you were miles better by making that decision and progressing forward, instead of regretting much later that you didn’t make a choice sooner.
As you go through life making your decisions, the next time you’re faced with the trolley problem, take a moment to thank God that you’re not on train tracks but rather safe next to the lever.
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